yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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