Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
