ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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