do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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