There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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