Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
