Having a random hookup so left but love u
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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