Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
