I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
