Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize