you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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