You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
