Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
