My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
