Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
