how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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