I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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