Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
