I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
