if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
