you're like a bully in the Christmas story
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
