dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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