i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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