I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
