your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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