Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
