You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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