they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just cropdusted the office
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
