Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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