I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
