does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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