you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
