3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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