I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
