I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
