I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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