well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
