My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize