How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
There r osticjed everywhere
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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