I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
