i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Found the puke drawer
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize