Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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