I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
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