He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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