Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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