Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
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