can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She made me pour olive oil on her.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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