oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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