No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
