im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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