Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize