He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My ATM looks so different sober.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
