he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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