And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
