Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
