I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
