If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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