well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
