My friends, they love my intelligence
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
