So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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