I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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