member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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